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    Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
    Scomo demands cricketers play harder after learning fires still not out
    "It's bloody unAustralian!"
    Sydney man books holiday in Beijing for a bit of fresh air
    Scientists deeply worried after climate disaster reaches “white people wearing facemasks” level
    Silhouette of Scott Morrison assures Australia that all possible aid will be given to New Zealand
    Doritos sales skyrocket as Sydneysiders flock to their bags of air
    Morrison on Sydney climate fires: “There’s nothing to see here”
    Report: Everything Fine And Normal
    DUTTON DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: Border Force patrols stepped up
    Local News
    With Game Of Thrones over, JK Rowling announces Jon Snow is gay
    Facebook crash forces public to resort to traditional stalking methods
    Suicidal whale constantly frustrated by hippies
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    World News
    Royal physician confirms Prince Andrew is definitely having no trouble sweating now
    Queen cancels Prince Andrew’s birthday, begins preparations for funeral
    God holds press conference to distance Himself from Israel Folau
    Trump honors 30 years since the Berlin Wall by promising to build an even bigger wall
    Scott Morrison concerned climate protests are making apocalypse a bit inconvenient
    Congress to grill Tom from Myspace on how the site is protecting its sole user’s data
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    Shovel Politics
    Albo Returns To Traditional Labor Values, Promising To Distribute Climate Change More Equally Across Entire Nation
    Australian Movies Must Now Include At Least One Road In A Lead Role, After Arts Department Dissolved Into Department For Infrastructure & Transport?
    Angus Taylor Says He Knows For Certain Naomi Wolf Was At Oxford In 1991 Because He Had A Medical Condition Which Meant He Couldn’t Sweat ?
    Racist Young Liberals To Be Disciplined With Two Terms In Senate
    Rural MP George Christensen Says He Went To A Manila Strip Club 28 Times To Help Break The Drought?
    Nation Rushes To Get Counselling After Imagining George Christensen In A Strip Club ?
    Real Estate
    Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
    Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
    UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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